


Lascivious Limericks

by HYPERFocused



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Smallville, Stargate Atlantis, Supernatural, White Collar
Genre: Bawdy, Limericks, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-03-01 00:46:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2753351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HYPERFocused/pseuds/HYPERFocused
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collection of bawdy limericks written in part for the December taking meme on DW/LJ. Only the first section, Lexmericks has been posted before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lascivious Limericks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kisahawklin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisahawklin/gifts).



> **Kate** asked for some bawdy limericks, and I have a bunch. Most are new, but the first few CLex ones I wrote a few months ago, and am reposting here because they fit.

**Lexmericks**

There once was a writer named Karen  
Who penned this bad poem, so darin'  
About Clark and Lex,  
Their snark and subtext,  
And the stuff they get up to while bare'n.

There once was a Luthor, named Lex  
Who liked to use aliens for sex.  
He explored one named Clark,  
At night, in the dark,  
In the day, he read Oedipus Rex.

A Super guy, christened Clark Kent,  
Could squeeze heavy things til they bent.  
He (lightly) squeezed Lex,  
(Who never was vexed)  
Lex returned all the kisses Clark sent.

**There Once Was a Man From Atlantis?**

Astrophysicist Rodney McKay  
Thought perhaps he might be gay.  
So he asked his friend, Colonel John,  
Who said "Let's get it on,"  
(Well, he slouched in a come-hither way.)

Colonel Sheppard was good with a gun,  
And liked to take Ronon Dex on a run  
But it was Meredith  
Who he longed to be with.  
"Have you _seen_ that ass? I'm not a _nun_!"

**Was There Ever a Hunt in Nantucket?**

An angel, they called Castiel,  
Had been in both heaven and hell  
(And planes in between),  
'Cause he kept loving Dean,  
And thought that Dean's brother was swell.

Sam and Dean were _very_ close brothers  
You could say they had problems with others.  
Because girls that they'd date  
Might share their mom's fate  
They'd avoid this if they had their druthers.

**Marvel-less**

A once scrawny Captain named Steve  
Spent decades, essentially, on leave.  
He came back with a physique  
That had much interest piqued,  
And his boyfriend wore his heart on his --sternum

Evil Loki and good brother Thor  
Both hated but loved each the more  
Thor's use of his 'hammer'  
Just made Loki stammer,  
"That was great, but let's stop, 'cause I'm sore."

**Unsuitable**

Neal' s crony Moz called Peter "The Suit"  
About most things he was astute.  
And Moz knew all too well,  
Neal loved Peter _and_ El,  
He won't admit that he thinks it's all cute.

Elizabeth loved Peter Burke,  
But she knew marriage would take some work.  
So she shared him with Neal,  
A love that was real.  
"Hon, I brought work home" was a huge perk.


End file.
